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  • Marina Stepanova

Unlearn Your Fears (Your way to Emotional Freedom)


We are naturally curious, but not naturally fearful. A baby is born with only two natural fears: fear of falling and fear of loud noises.

As adults, we still experience these two natural fears. All other fears are learned.

You enter your adult life with a collection of your family's and society's unresolved fears and anxieties. It might be a fear of failure, of being judged, being embarrassed, being not good enough.

You internalise those fears and feel like they are your own. When, in fact, you have picked them up from someone else.

I, for example, used to feel anxious bedore I had to take a long journey, especially before getting on the plane. I loved flying, but I was alwayd afraid to miss the flight. I had that anxiety long before I had ever missed the flight. Naturally, I started to wonder where it had come from.

As a young adult, I got a chance to analyse my parents before they were about to go on a trip. Both of them appeared to be nervous and anxious, making sure they left PLENTY of time to get to the airport or train station. I could just feel the nerves.

I still feel a twitch of anxiety just before my flight, but I manage to remind myself that even if I miss the flight, the world would not end.

Unlearning fear requires a strong desire to be free and to constant work on yourself through becoming aware of what that fear is. It is a journey of self-discovery.

There will be breakthroughts but without consistent work and commitment the change would be short-lived. It is about small everyday victories.

You are not your fear. You are much bigger and stronger than your fears.

Exercise to release your fear:

Next time you become aware that you are anxious or afraid, acknowledge your feelings and repeat several times: I have a fear of (spiders, talking to strangers,...) but I am not this fear.

Then repeat a positive affirmation:

I am always safe

I can handle whatever comes my way.

Remember, you can do it!

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