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  • Marina Stepanova

My Voice

Updated: Aug 25, 2019

Wednesday the 21st of August 2019, one of the most important days of my life, has finally arrived. I have been waiting for it with excitement and anticipation. I was a bit nervous too, I'm not gonna lie. However, I made a promise to myself to focus on my message and on how brave I was to do what I was about to do.

My morning wasn't any different from my other mornings - breakfast for the children and myself, getting everyone washed and dressed, out to the park, back home for lunch, get ready and out the door. Only this time I was not going to work so it took a bit longer to put my makeup on and do my hair. I just had to look as presentable as possible. I was going to be on stage in a few hours!

I was prepared and knew exactly what I was going to say and how I was going to do it. Some friends were coming to see me, which made the whole thing even more special. I got to London very early, because I was meeting a school mate that I have not seen in fifteen years (it did not feel like it was that long). We chatted about lots of things and had something to eat, before going to the venue.

When I walked into the room, which was all set up and ready for the event, the feeling of what was going to happen had finally sunk in. As I was trying to remember to breathe, I started to realise how far I have come. From someone who was afraid to stand out and be noticed, to someone who put herself into a situation that she could no longer get out of. All eyes would be on me for those four minutes that I would be on stage. I was really excited still, but I had also let the fear run wild, causing havoc in my body. I had to sit down and just breathe in for a second. I also went to pee like three times in thirty minutes. That's how nervous I got!

My name was the first one on the list; I was happy to go first. I knew I would do just fine, even better than fine. I felt confident about my speech and my ability to deliver it. Needless to say, I enjoyed every second I was up on that stage. Looking into my friends' and my partner's eyes and seeing how proud they were just made it million times more special. I felt awesome. It is difficult to put the whole array of emotions I was experiencing into words.

Now, time for the most important bit. Why was it one of the most important days of my life? Because of five things really. Here they are:

1. I have finally decided that my voice mattered and that I had something important to say.

2. I am unique (just like everyone else is) and it was time to show ME to the world.

3. I managed to stamp out that last bit of bullshit out of my system. You know the one about my accent that I mentioned in my previous blog and my desire to fit in. I am no longer interested in fitting in. It feels so freaking liberating!

4. I took myself out of my comfort zone completely. As some of you know, this is where real growth happens. I don't intend to stay comfortable ever. I will be constantly stretching and pushing.

5. I put myself in charge of what was happening. I signed up for the course, I paid for it, I did the work, I delivered the speech and I ripped the rewards. It just feels unbelievably powerful.

In my daily life, in my book, in my blog, on my Facebook and Instagram pages, as well as my private 'One Step at a Time' group, I urge you to act on your dreams, especially the ones you feel uncomfortable about doing.

Why? Because just like I said in 'Resourceful Mum' - you deserve it. All of the goodness and excitement of life can be yours if you just step out of your comfort zone.

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