What would it feel like to be completely and utterly free? Free from anxiety, stress, and uncertainty about the future? What would it feel like to just say ‘no’ and feel no guilt attached to it? It would feel pretty great I would imagine. This feeling of being at peace with yourself and everyone around you, knowing your boundaries and limitations, being able to conquer your fears and being true to yourself in every situation is called emotional freedom.
I am currently on the journey of cultivating that feeling within myself. Supporting my clients to overcome their obstacles and deal with their challenges has made me realise that having emotional freedom is the ultimate goal for most of us if we are to lead happy successful lives. It might look different to you from what it does to me, but ultimately it is the same at its core for all of us. The concept might appear unreachable to you right now, due to particular circumstances you are dealing with right now, but I promise you would get to know it a little bit better when you have finished
reading this segment of the book. But before we look a little deeper into the meaning of emotional freedom, let`s have a quick glimpse at something that might be more familiar to you right now -emotional dependence.
When you are emotionally dependent, you look to others for your happiness and your emotional well-being; you rely on other people to build YOUR self-image, to validate your opinions and approve of your decisions. When you are emotionally dependent you believe that someone else holds the key to your happiness and success. We have been programmed to believe that by the fairy-tales we were told day in day out when we were little girls. Just think about Snow White, Cinderella and the
Sleeping Beauty. What would their life be like if Prince Charming didn`t save them? There was not even a thought for these beautiful ladies to go out there and fend for themselves. They just had to sit (or lay) there and wait for their destiny to reach them. Well, it is a load of bollocks and hardly ever happens. I personally don`t know any real life princesses who that has happened to. And I know a lot
of real life princesses who are kind, strong and beautiful (inside and out).
In a nutshell, you are emotionally dependent when you turn your life to other people – your partner, your parents, your children, your colleagues, your friends. If their opinion of you is more important than your own, then you have some work to do.
Being emotionally free means having the courage to be YOU; to show the world your vulnerabilities, your greatness, your strength and sometimes your weaknesses. Being emotionally free means having inner wisdom that keeps you centred and at
peace even when everyone around you is falling apart. It means staying true to your feelings no matter the consequences.
Sounds a bit dramatic, right? It is dramatic, because there is nothing more
important in life than you being your true self and living it authentically. Only if you want to be happy of course.
Emotional freedom will give you the courage to make difficult decisions about your life that you did not want to make when you were trapped in fear of being rejected. Is it easy to be emotionally free? Hell no!
It is difficult to end a relationship even when you know that it is wrong. It is hard to change career even when you are unhappy in your current job. It is challenging to stand up for yourself when you are risking to lose someone you care about. Having emotional freedom doesn`t mean it would be easier to make difficult choices. It means you would take responsibility for them and feel strong on the inside in your knowledge that all is well in your world. Moreover, you would be able to make a decision and then make it right.
How do you get to be emotionally free? There are a few things you need to do. I will write about them in the next few blogs. However, if you want to get them now, head to www.resourcefulmum.com, submit the form at the bottom of the page and I will send you Chapter 10 - The Missing Chapter of Resourceful Mum where you would find answers to those questions.